Survivor
by Thandiwe Amorean
Summary: Well, we are going to see what exactly happens when a few select characters from Final Fantasy 7 and 8 get invitied to be on survivor. This is more or less the meet the characters episode. Oh, yeah... There's a few guest stars from random anime too.
1. Episode One

Survivor- Episode One  
  
Strange, Mysterious Voice: Hello, and Welcome to Survivor! And here's our host, Fujin!!!  
Fujin: WELCOME!  
Strange Mysterious Voice: On survivor, we send our contestants to a little island, and see how they get along. Now Fujin, why don't you tell me what all is going to go on on that island...  
Fujin: WAR!  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Well, that might happen, but what else?  
Fujin: HATE!  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Well, that too, but what else?  
Fujin: MONEY?  
Strange Mysterious Voice: That's right!! Money!! The last person left on the island will get the Mysterious Sum of Prize Money!!  
Fujin: HEEEEEE....  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Now, Let's welcome our guests, all from Final Fantasy 7 and 8, Sephiroth, Seifer, Zell, Rinoa, Squall, Irvine, Selphie, Tifa, Aeris, Cloud, and Yuffie.  
*ALL CHARACTERS WALK OUT ON STAGE, THEN SIT DOWN IN CHAIRS*  
Yuffie: Oh, thank you my audience! You just love me and my beautiful materia... if I had any... *glares at Cloud*  
Cloud: *pays no attention to Yuffie. Drools*  
Tifa: *looks at Cloud* Mako?  
Cloud: *nods*  
Aeris: How did I become alive? *looks around and her eyes lock on Cloud*  
Cloud: *shrugs* I don't know...  
Tifa: *looks at Cloud and Aeris looking at each other and feels a streak of jealousy coming on, then looks around the room. Her eyes lock on Squall's.*  
Squall: Do I know you?  
Tifa: No, not that I know of... *blushes*  
Rinoa: *looks at Tifa, then at Squall and back to Tifa* Uh... Squall...  
Squall: Hm? *eyes still locked on Tifa*  
Sephiroth: Meteor... Meteor... Meteor...  
Fujin: *looks at Sephiroth* CUTE!  
Seifer: *looks at Rinoa* HA! MY DREAM WILL COME TRUE!  
*EVERYONE LOOKS AT SEIFER*  
Seifer: What? Why's everyone looking at me? Do I have a booger on my nose or something? *Rubs his nose*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Excuse Me...  
Tifa: Bathroom's down the hall...  
Rinoa: You are so last Final Fantasy...  
Tifa: At least I'm not the next generation of whores!  
Rinoa: WELL YOU WERE LAST GENERATION! And, sorry sweetheart, but you're starting to look saggy. Can you say Wonderbra?  
Tifa: *glares at rinoa*  
Rinoa: *glares at Tifa*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Excuse me...  
Selphie: *looks scared* AHHH! It's the ghost of Christmas Past!  
*HEAR THE SLAPPING OF HAND ON HEAD*  
Squall: Lord... save them all...  
Sephiroth: You wanted something?  
Squall: *gives Sephiroth a Squall look* ...Whatever...  
Tifa: Glares at Rinoa more*  
Rinoa: Glares at Tifa* Ugh, get this... thing... away from me... Just looking at it makes me sick!  
Irvine: I feel a catfight comin' on... Ripping at hair, and clothes, and... clothes... and... I feel... happy...  
Sephiroth: Chicken....  
Fujin: CHICKEN! I LIKE! *Runs to Sephiroth and kisses him*  
Sephiroth: *staggers backward* NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD! SANCTUARY! SANCTUARY! *falls down having a seizure*  
Cloud: *drool runs down his chin and lands on Sephiroth* HAHAHAHAHA! NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE A SHAKY MANIAC!  
Strange Mysterious Voice: EXCUSE ME!  
Tifa: I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS, IM GONNA SAY IT MY WAY!! BATHROOM IS DOWN THE HALL!!!  
Strange Mysterious Voice: FINE! ILL GO TO THE BATHROOM! *A door opens near the back of the room, and a rather short man walks out. He exits the stage.*  
Fujin: YAY! *runs into the door the short man left open, slamming it behind her. She starts screaming in the microphone* AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
Aeris: Make it Stop!  
Zell: Oh the humanity, oh the pain... hey, is that a hotdog? *reaches for a hotdog on a nearby table*  
*RINOA AND TIFA BEGIN TO YELL AT EACH OTHER, ONLY MAKING THE NOISE WORSE*  
Yuffie: Ha! I can problably scream louder. *doesn't scream, but begins to screech*  
Squall: I'm dying....  
Irvine: I think girls look sexy when they scream!  
Selphie: The ghost... The ghost... Why does the ghost of Christmas past love to haunt me? WHY?  
*THE SHORT MAN COMES BACK IN AND OPENS THE DOOR TO THE MICROPHONE ROOM. HE THROWS FUJIN OUT OF THE ROOM*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Well, that's all the time for today. See you Later.  
Fujin: *runs up to the camera* BYE! *knocks camera over*  
*EVERYTHING GOES FUZZY* 


	2. Episode Two

Survivor-Episode 2  
  
*CAMERA COMES ON*  
Fujin: HI!!!  
Tifa: Hi!  
Squall: Whatever...  
Sephiroth: Meteor...  
Aeris: We are going on a boat!  
Fujin: BOAT!  
Zell: Are there any hotdogs?  
Rinoa: There is no possible way I am going to be able to sit by that... thing...  
Tifa: *glares at rinoa* What's your problem?  
Rinoa: Im not friends with whores...  
Tifa: Talk about touchy! At least I have more cleavage than you!  
Rinoa: Do not!  
Tifa: Do too!  
Aeris: I'm not even going to join in...  
Cloud: *looks at Aeris* Hey Aeris....  
Aeris: Yes, Cloud......  
Cloud: I.... nevermind....  
Zell: Hotdogs Hotdogs Hotdogs!  
Sephiroth: Meteor Meteor Meteor!  
Zell: Hotdogs!  
Sephiroth: Meteor!  
Irvine: *walks onto the boat deck and waves frantically*  
Selphie: Irvy, what are you doing?  
Irvine: It is a custom to wave goodbye to the people on the dock.  
Selphie: But Irvy, there are no people...  
Irvine: Oh well, I like to wave my hands frantically....  
Selphie: Okay, I will join in too! *starts to wave frantically*  
Squall: *looks at Selphie* Oh lord....  
Sephiroth: Yes?  
Squall: Not you!  
Sephiroth: Jenova...  
Seifer: Okay, everyone on the boat, let's get this thing moving!  
*EVERYONE RUNS ONTO THE BOAT*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Hello again, everyone! Nice to be back! I will be the captain of this boat!  
*BOAT STARTS MOVING*  
Tifa: Im not talking to that....that.... I won't even say it, because it's not for a dogs ears to hear....  
Rinoa: Well, I never!!! *storms off*  
Squall: Ri... oh, whatever....  
Seifer: That was cruel.... Wait for me, Rinoa!!!!! *runs after Rinoa*  
Sephiroth: Man overboard....  
Tifa: Sephiroth, do you ever shut up?  
Sephiroth: No, I really mean it this time... Man overboard! *points to the water*  
*EVERYONE LOOKS AT THE WATER AND SEES BRIGHT ORANGE HAIR*  
Sephiroth: Onion Rings...  
Tifa: Throw him a lifesaver!  
Sephiroth: *throws a candy at the man with orange hair, hitting him in the head*  
Tifa: Not that lifesaver, moron! A life preserver thingy! I really dont the name of it!  
Sephiroth: Oh, the round floaty thing?  
Tifa: Duh! *throws the life preserver to man with orange hair*  
*EVERYONE PULLS MAN WITH ORANGE HAIR ONTO BOAT*  
Tifa: Are you okay?  
Man with orange hair: I think so...  
Tifa: What's your name?  
Man with orange hair: Tasuki...  
Tifa: What happened?  
Tasuki: I was swabbing decks when this woman that looked raging mad came past me, and knocked me into the water! I will never again work with Chichiri on his part time jobs! * looks at Tifa, then blushes*  
Tifa: Your face is red... do you have a sunburn?  
Tasuki: Uh... Uh... Unnn....  
Tifa: Okay.... *gets up and walks off*  
Tasuki: *stands up and grabs Sephiroth* What is her name?!?! Tell me!  
Sephiroth: Tifa... Meteor... her name is Tifa...  
Tasuki: She's beautiful! *lets go of Sephiroth, and he instantly falls to the ground*  
*ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHIP.....*  
Aeris: *leans on the railing to the bow of the boat* Cloud...  
Cloud: Yes Aeris?  
Aeris: Do you think we could start where we left off?  
Cloud: We could try....  
Aeris: *Jumps up and hugs Cloud* Oh thank you Cloud!  
Cloud: *a little hesitant at first, hugs Aeris back*  
*IN ONE OF THE ROOMS OF THE BOAT*  
Rinoa: How can that female dog call me a dog? How can she?  
Seifer: Freedom of speech, right?  
Rinoa: You're no help...  
Seifer: I was just trying to lighten the mood... Hey, Rinoa....  
Rinoa: What?  
Seifer: I love you...  
Rinoa: Sure, whatever.... *gets up and walks out of the room*  
Seifer: *watches Rinoa walk out the door* Man, I was so close! I wish she would like me again!  
*ON THE BOAT DECK, SELPHIE AND IRVINE WALK AROUND THE CORNER OF THE BOAT, ONLY TO COME FACE TO FACE WITH TASUKI*  
Selphie: AHHHHHH! A VAMPIRE!  
Tasuki: I am NOT a vampire!  
Selphie: Then you... you're....  
Tasuki: I'm what?  
Selphie: THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST! AAAAAHHHHHHH!  
Tasuki: Miss, I assure you... I'm not that either!  
Selphie: Well, in that case, you must be a fairy!  
Tasuki: Did you just say I was a fairy?  
Selphie: YES! The fairy has come to tell me everything will be okay!  
Tasuki: But, I'm not a....  
Selphie: So go ahead, tell me!  
Tasuki: Tell you what?  
Selphie: That everything will be okay!  
Tasuki: Everything.... will be....  
Selphie: Okay?  
Tasuki: Okay.  
Selphie: Okay!  
Tasuki: Okay...  
Selphie: Okay!!  
Tasuki: I give up... *walks off*  
*THE CAMERA FLASHES TO FUJIN, WHO IS RUNNING AROUND THE BOAT. SHE RUNS INTO SEPHIROTH*  
Fujin: *flutters her eyelashes, wiggles her eyebrows* HI!  
Sephiroth: Angry Beavers....  
Fujin: ANGRY BEAVERS! FAVORITE SHOW! *trys to kiss sephiroth on the lips, but at the wrong moment, Sephiroth turns around, exposing his butt to Fujins slobbery lips*  
Fujin: *blushes* NICE BUTT!  
Sephiroth: Thank you...  
*THE CAMERA FLASHES TO TASUKI, RUNNING AROUND THE DECK OF THE SHIP, TRYING TO FIND TIFA*  
Tasuki: Where is she? *finally he sees Tifa, leaning against the railing* Hey, Tifa!  
Tifa: Hi, Tasuki. What brings you here?  
Tasuki: Tifa, I have utmost feelings for you... even though I dont know what utmost means... but, that's besides the point... *grabs Tifa and kisses her (HE PULLED A NURIKO!)*  
Tifa: *pulls back surprised* Uh.... Im... Im.... Speechless.... But.... I like it!!! *grabs Tasuki and kisses him*  
Tasuki: *pulls Tifa in his arms and kisses her passionately*  
*CENSORED MATERIAL*  
Tifa:Heeeee......  
*MORE CENSORED MATERIAL*  
*THE CAMERA FLASHES TO SQUALL, WALKING AROUND THE CORNER ONLY TO SEE.....TASUKI AND TIFA KISSING*  
Squall: *runs over to Tifa and Tasuki and pulls them apart* What do you think you are doing? It's my turn!!!! *grabs Tifa in his arms and kisses her*  
*SUDDENLY FUJIN RUNS AROUND THE CORNER DRAGGING A PASSED OUT SEPHIROTH*  
Fujin: CENSOR! *runs and punches in the camera*  
*SCREEN GOES FUZZY* 


	3. Episode Three

Survivor-Episode 3  
  
  
*CAMERA COMES ON TO SHOW A NIGHT SCENE. WE SEE TIFA LEANING ON THE RAILING OF THE BOW OF THE SHIP, STARING AT THE STARS. TASUKI WALKS UP*  
Tasuki: Tifa, you okay?  
Tifa: I guess, it is just that I have never been torn between two guys before...  
Tasuki: Well, it is totally up to you who you pick... Even if it isn't me...  
Tifa: Tasuki....  
Tasuki: It's okay... just, don't forget our first kiss, okay?  
Tifa: .........................  
Tasuki: *kisses Tifa, then smiles, a tight, uncomfortable smile* I decided to do that... because, it could be the last time...  
Tifa: *holds her hand up to Tasuki's lips* Don't say things like that... It may not be... just give me time...  
Tasuki: *smiles at Tifa* Okay...  
*THE NEXT MORNING, EVERYONE IS UP AND ABOUT ON THE SHIP, ALL EXCEPT FOR ZELL.*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Hello again, people! I am paging you to inform you that we are approaching land!  
*EVERYONE CHEERS*  
Yuffie: Maybe there is some Materia on the Island...  
Sephiroth: Holy...  
Tifa: Sephiroth...  
Sephiroth: *blinks, seeming not to hear*  
Tifa: Sephiroth...  
Sephiroth: *blinks, seeming not to hear once more*  
Tifa: Oh, lord...  
Sephiroth: You called?  
Tifa: ...I give up...  
Yuffie: You should try harder, Tifa... I don't think Sephiroth fancies you...  
Tifa: Oh, go away, Yuffie!  
Yuffie: Okay... whatever... I was just picking... Geez...  
*AROUND ON THE STERN, CLOUD AND AERIS STAND*  
Cloud: Hey Aeris...  
Aeris: Yes Cloud?  
Cloud: Close your eyes...  
Aeris: *closes her eyes* Okay...  
Cloud: *leads Aeris over to the railing of the stern* Step up...  
Aeris: *steps up onto the railing* Okay...  
Cloud: *takes hold of Aeris's arms, and holds them out* Now, open your eyes....  
Aeris: *opens her eyes, then gasps* I... I'm flying!!!!! Cloud, I'm flying!!!  
Cloud: *looks at Aeris, then kisses her*   
Aeris: *kisses Cloud back*  
Irvine: *happens to walk around the side of the ship and sees the scene* Oh lord Titanic all over again....  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Awww.... how sweet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Cloud: *Breaks apart from Aeris* Maybe another time......  
Aeris: Okay....  
*SEPHIROTH STARTS FLYING AROUND*  
Tifa: Hey, Sephiroth, where ya goin?  
Sephiroth: To find a TV.  
Tifa: *starts to follow Sephiroth* Why?  
Sephiroth: Because...  
*TIFA FOLLOWS SEPHIROTH INTO A ROOM WHERE A TV IS. HE TURNS IT ON AND CHANGES IT TO A CHANNEL. TIFA SEES WHAT IT IS.*  
Tifa: You mean to tell me that...  
Sephiroth: *starts pumping his legs up and down* Uh huh... this is how I get my gorgeous body...  
Voice From the Tv Set: Pump those legs, ladies!  
Tifa: Richard Simmons?!? Oh lord....  
Sephiroth: Yes?   
Tifa: Oh, leave me alone! *Walks out of room*  
*YUFFIE IS SEEN RUNNING AROUND THE DECK, LOOKING QUITE STUPID. SHE RUNS INTO ZELL, WHO HAS JUST WOKEN UP AND WAS COMING OUT OF HIS ROOM*  
Zell: Hey, Watch it... Oh, sorry for yelling at you...  
Yuffie: *rubs her head* Owwww.... watch it.... hey... Cool tattoo!  
Zell: You think so?  
Yuffie: Yeah!  
Zell: You like hotdogs?  
Yuffie: I like materia! Hotdogs are cool!!  
Zell: cool! Wanna eat breakfast with me?  
Yuffie: Sure!  
Zell: *holds out his arm to Yuffie*  
Yuffie: *takes his arm*  
*THEY PRANCE DOWN THE WALK TO GO GET THEIR BREAKFAST*  
*SUDDENLY, THE BOAT LURCHES, THROWING CLOUD AND AERIS OFF THE STERN INTO A VERY SANDY BEACH*  
Strange Mysterious Voice: Oh, sorry, I never did get my liscence for boat parking...  
Yuffie: Go back to school, idiot!!!! *shakes her fist at the boat* Cmon, Zelly! *drags Zell off the boat and onto the beach*  
Irvine:(who just happened to fall on top of Selphie) Uh.... Uh...Heh, Heh... I knew something good would happen on this trip....  
Selphie: HIIIIYAAAA! *kicks Irvine off her then pins him* Who's pinned now Irvy?  
Irvine: Even better....  
*SELPHIE GETS UP AND HELPS IRVINE UP, THEN THEY BOTH EXIT THE BOAT.*  
Tifa: *walks alongside Tasuki and Squall, looking from Tasuki to Squall, then back to Tasuki* This is so confusing..........  
Tasuki: *looks at Squall* Let's make a peace treaty for now, okay? At least until she makes up her mind... *extends his hand to Squall*  
Squall: Whatever... *shakes Tasuki's hand*   
Tasuki: Good, I didn't want to start any fights because I know very well that I don't want to use my metal fan!  
Squall: Whatever....  
*RINOA IS SEEN WALKING OFF THE BOAT, KEEPING A CLOSE EYE ON TIFA. SEIFER IS FOLLOWING HER CLOSE BEHIND*  
Seifer: But, Rinoa, cant you give me another chance?  
Rinoa: Ummm.... nooo.... I like Squall now.  
Seifer: PLEAAAAASEEE?  
Rinoa: I'll think about it.....  
Seifer: Goody!  
*THE CAMERA FLASHES BACK TO IRVINE AND SELPHIE*  
Irvine: Hey, Selphie....  
Selphie: Yes, Irvy?  
Irvine: Do you happen to know that we are on an island... a deserted island?  
Selphie: Yes! Now we can scream at the top of our lungs when the ghost comes back to haunt me, and nobody will hear us! *happens to walk by Tasuki* Oh, hi, Fairy!  
Tasuki: *mumbles something under his breath*  
Irvine: That wasn't my idea....  
*SUDDENLY, FUJIN, CARRYING THE CAMERA, JUMPS OFF THE BOAT AND WALKS ALONGSIDE SEPHIROTH*  
Fujin: *flutters her eyelashes, wiggles her eyebrows* HELLO, CHICKEN MAN!  
Sephiroth: *ignores Fujin*  
*FUJIN THEN LOOKS INTO THE CAMERA AND SMILES AN EVIL SMILE. THEN SHE DROPS THE CAMERA. EVERYTHING GOES FUZZY* 


End file.
